Social Media: A Refuge for teaching Narcissism

Trying to find humor and funny jokes is certainly a task, and not to be daunted by the prospect, I searched You Tube and  Social Media.  The thing is this. There are a lot of nasty dysfunctional clips on social media, although given a slightly less Narcissistic name such as for example; Pranks gone wrong, funniest home videos, funny disasters, you get the point; people will laugh at absolute gut wrenching tragedies if you put a funny musical clip, or laughter track to such events.

Curiosity is a major human emotional driver and such titles as; She did what? Judges gobsmacked at what they saw, draws you in by your own curiosity to have a look.

Some comedians (Stand-up comics) who are NOT funny, resorting  to demoralizing attacks and swearing  profusely to just get a laugh.  Some aspect of social media can present a dark side of mind manipulation and exercise soft negative influences. The outcome being that it desensitizes you, while manipulating your views, and in a subtle way bumbs down your thinking and social objective skills.

In America a young 17 year old, is convicted and found guilty of involuntary manslaughter for encouraging her 18 years old possibly unstable boyfriend, to end his life via text message.  Social media has consequences (she could get 20 years jail time).  Social media can never be your friend, can never be your personal diary, and we have all seen the effect of fake news. 

Even the established media channels are guilty of  whipping up emotional antagonism and influencing and swaying public opinions. Main stream media is not off the hook either with reality TV shows that portray a dog eat dog world and show the worst of human nature, and encourages it and thus teaching this behavior to those viewing it;  where people compete, lie, steal, manipulate, cheat on, and crush opponents without consequence to win.  This sits in the back of your subconscious mind and influences your behavior.

Many people do not have the skills to filter out and think for themselves, usually parroting negative generalizations such as; all homeless people want to stay homeless and are drug addicts. All in all, it generates fear (False Evidence Appearing Real). It creates a social divisions, an us versus them attitude and bias.

So what can you do to combat the deluge of social manipulation.

An example could be to look up  the works of prof Noam Chomsky  for some refreshing objectivity and thinking on social events.  Watch Ted Talks to self-educate on the latest research, and heroic journeys of uplifting inspiring people. Watch documentaries.

Knowledge and Education feeds the mind . It builds awareness and allows you to make better healthier and wiser choices in life. Exercising your mind also builds strength and character.

Hypnotherapy can help you mentally detox from unconscious social media conditioning and resets the mind towards generating a healthier happy you.  Brings you back to balance. Peace always.

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How to be the best version of yourself

We never really see ourselves objectively, (viewed from the outside). We can only ever see ourselves subjectively, (viewed from inside).  As such, we can only ever monitor our impact on our environment by the feedback we get from the environment we are in.  That feedback can never really be neutral as it is filtered by generalization, deletion, and distortion. (The three universals of human modelling that effects perception, feedback and learning).

So how can we become the best version of ourselves?  Surprisingly in a very simple way. A way that was worked out aeons ago. This process has been adapted over time, but the core essentials remain the same.

  • Adopt a personal code of ethics and behavior
  • Be mindful of your action upon others and upon yourself
  • Respect

Seems simple enough. However, you also need a mindful discipline to achieve this in your life. Let’s look at this deeper.

Adopt a personal code of ethics and behavior. A code of ethics is essential to strengthening your inner core values. It strengthens your morality. Doing what is right.

Mindfulness is essential to checking your behavior and thinking “outside” of yourself. Mindfulness decreases personal bias and judgement of others. Mindfulness also develops an inner peace and flow from within. Mindfulness allows you to contemplate your actions and what effects those actions will imprint on those around you.

Respect is fundamental to right action. There are countless examples of this. One example is when someone does something really stupid most people will call that person stupid. “you are a stupid idiot” This devalues and harms the persons core, is passive aggressive in action and  labels a person stupid. Respect in this case would be, “I see what you did was stupid we all learn from our mistakes and let’s look at how we can move forward from this”  Separating from the “what you did” from the “you are” shows basic respect.  Respect does not mean invalidating yourself to make someone else happy.

The six keys to a happy peaceful powerful life are. Honor – dedication and discipline connected to love – compassion and understanding.  This can take a lifetime to master, however it is well worth doing as you become  the best version of yourself. Always an ongoing process that leads to wisdom.

Hypnotherapy can help you achieve this in a non-bias way, simply by realigning your focus and strengthening your inner core.  I have developed a special process for this and it is in my opinion, well worth the journey.

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The danger of social news and media reporting

A young girl, live streams her suicide on the WWW. This tragic horrific event had a double edge: The focus of the news reporting her death, and then reporting that the live stream was available on the web and the authorities were powerless to have her suicide footage removed.

The problem we now face is that young minds may search out, share or stumble upon the tragic footage or similar, with their parents unaware of them viewing such distressing content. So the only thing you can do is educate and talk to your teenagers when such events are reported in the main stream news. Education and counseling is essential especially when such news events are widely available on all aspects of media.   Your children may have more awareness of these events that you realize.

The problem:

Our young see the WWW as their personal space, use it as their personal diaries, even though they are on-line to the world, and especially at times, when they are rebelling, or have huge angst against the world, a person, or events, or simply no one to talk to.  The world is always expressed at its worse by the news.

A possible solution:

Teaching our young to develop skills such as:

  • Meditation and ego strengthening,
  • Positive focus
  • Compassion for others and understanding
  • Ethics and mindfulness

All essential to building a healthy mind.  But more importantly, to build resilience to the onslaught of such a negative world expressed in the Media.  Meditation and counseling  should be implemented as a strengthening tool rather than some afterthought once the damage is done.

The teaching of: Mediation and compassion for others, builds inner strength and confidence.   Meditation and counseling should be taught in schools.  Should be practiced in the home, should be available to all.

My Hypnotherapy (family – group or individual) can fast track the foundation for healthy minds to develop, so they do not fall prey to alcohol, drugs, bullies, social media or negative events. So they have a safe place to talk – express and allow their true potential to develop, rather than “others” encouraging them in Mal-adaptive negative behaviors that are all too apparent in our global society.

I believe we owe it to our youth,  to get it “right”  and implement positive change in a caring balanced way.  Builds strength and fortitude, but more importantly, builds a better society for all.

Consider Hypnotherapy as a way to help you, your friends and or family members build a better safer and more productive life


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Grief, negativity and world affairs

Learning to be a light healer in dark times

We all, at more than one time in our lives have to deal with grief. The loss of someone; personal (friend or family member) or public (such as Lady Diana). Also to a lesser extent, the loss of some-thing.   (Job, car, house, career and all that it represents to us). Grief is a natural emotion when dealing with loss. In ancient times, the tribe would revere the dead, even ask the ancestors for help. The tribe would see death as a passage to the afterlife and rebirth.   All members of the family participated with that passage in a caring healing way for the one that passed, but more so for those who remained alive.

Grief only becomes a problem when people become “stuck” in it.  The emotion, so heavy that it is crippling. Studies have shown that people can die of a broken heart.  When Carrie Fisher died, her mom, Debbie Reynolds died within a day, of a broken heart.   It is not uncommon to see close partners or family die within days or weeks of the loss of a loved one.

When Lady Diana died the world mourned. However the media extended the grief in news reporting that lasted way beyond what would be normally accepted  (it sold newspapers – lots) and people were seriously grief stricken depressed and some even suicidal.  The collective got “stuck” by the media feeding the grief.  The world is polarized towards negativity and one has to be careful not to be snared in its relentless severity.

Effects on children

When the airplanes struck the twin towers in the USA. I had a dream column (analyzing dreams) in a  major magazine. Such was the media exposure and collective grief and anger, That there was a torrential flood of letters from young children  who’s  dreams  (their collective unconscious) were of being on the towers and dying.  The theme was truly embedded in a way that influenced a generation of children as young as seven, with a subconscious bedrock of fear, dying , no hope, and a pointless future.  Although those children, now adults, would not remember their dreams  at that time – consciously, the subconscious never forgets…. Never.

Terrorism (peddling fear).

The relentless fear of terrorism and our inhumanity to refugees does not go unnoticed by children who’s collective bedrock has been so conditioned by media, the TV, news and Internet, that becomes a third parent to the young.  And we wonder why and how teenagers become so mentally damaged or suffer PTS (post-traumatic stress) and high anxiety. All that background stress, fear and grief. They see the ads of dying children (charities air) asking for money, they see children bombed or slaughtered by war overseas. And children do not possess an adult filter through reason. In fact we expect them to develop reason way before they are mentally capable of doing so.

We train them to switch of emotionally, ( computer games of war and violence). We train them for deadening their aliveness and to join the collective in an unfeeling and inhuman way (another brick in the wall).  And if a few escape and show genuine feelings for others, the (imperial storm troopers) bullies, take care of them so they are truly damaged.  And then throw in drugs (a negative escape coping mechanism) fostered by a truly sick society.

 Painting a dark picture

Now I paint a truly horrifying picture, and you may think it’s not all that bad. But is it? I do not see a society that fosters ethics, morality and or a code of conduct. I see a society that fosters greed debt and everyone for themselves attitude.  A society grooming us to scorn homelessness and poverty and to dehumanize those in such a way that they too die way before their time.

Who’s at fault? Collectively those at the top and those who wield power and policy.  Those that manipulate public thinking.

Not all lost (checklist)

What does your mental diet consist of? Is it addicted to:

  • The news
  • talk back radio
  • Politics
  • Societies wrongs
  • War

What you focus upon fills your consciousness, and all of the above feeds your negative state.  Locks you into the dark side.

Learning to navigate safely out of harms way

  • Are you active?
  • Do you do your personal best?
  • Do you watch documentaries?
  • Do you improve your own education?
  • Recycle old unwanted clothes?
  • Help out (volunteer)?
  • Talk openly with your family and friends?
  • Are you mindful of yourself and actions upon others?

Now there are wonderful programs and people who do care and want to help, (even if governments do cut funding).  Parents that do their best, people do care – our unsung heroes.

But now there is a groundswell, collective seeds in our consciousness coming forward, and we are stepping up to the task. This groundswell needs to be nurtured into fullness. Understand that collective – grief, depression and anxiety are hidden killers, stealth killers and poison the mind.

On a positive note: Be sure to discuss personal as well as world events with your family without condemnation or prejudice, but in a healthy open way. Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot do. Be an advocate for the light side of the force and do not give in to the dark side.

If all else fails, let Hypnotherapy help you through all your trying times and help balance your mind back to healthy state of well-being. Nurturing that groundswell is essential  and now more needed than ever before.  It leads to wisdom and a good life.


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The problem with affirmations

There are a lot of books and courses on affirmations and creating one’s reality.  All stating that “your thoughts are creative”.  Therefore all your thoughts are affirmations which you then hold in your consciousness, to create a new desired reality.

Some books point to us being able to bend the universe to our will. The trouble with this is that the universe is infinitely big. I mean really big. Wiki states that  “It is estimated that the diameter of the observable universe is about 28 gigaparsecs   (93 billion light-years across).  Whilst humanity is really really small.  A micro atom in size comparison. Yet some have the audacity to say that we can bend the universe to our thinking.

The assumption that your thoughts create your reality is a distortion of your mind. It is true that what you focus upon fills your awareness (thoughts), and seems infinitely big. Obsessive thoughts, negative thoughts, single minded thoughts can consume one completely, but has zero effect on the known universe. The mind cannot think outside of itself.

All your mind can do is think thoughts, build internal maps of reality, imagine,…Etc.  I can imagine a nice cup of tea, but no internal willing, focus or imagination will manifest it as if by magic, on the table in front of me.

You are aware of your thoughts and imaginings; however, your thoughts and imaginings are not aware of you. They are mental constructs, nothing more, nothing less.

The mind wants to be King! But has little regard to that (you) part of you that is not mind. Remember I pointed out that you are aware of your thoughts and imaginings; however, your thoughts and imaginings are not aware of you. There is a huge part of you that is not of mind, not a mental construct. The watcher part of you watching you. Your inner knowing, your inner being; being.

Society has placed so much emphasis on the mind and mental intelligence (I.Q), that it lost all regard to anything else. We might as well be machine like androids, just logical intelligence, and as such, we risk losing our cohesiveness as a society and our humanity.

So here it is; Your thoughts are directive, not creative. (Not in the sense that new age philosophers make it out to be). Your thoughts direct awareness. Allows your awareness to focus like a magnifying lens onto whatever you are internally sorting out, or/and externally working through.

Einstein would do everything possible to distract his mind in order to find solutions to his physics problems. In other words, throw the mind off balance. He would do this particularly when he got stuck in an equation. He simply went to the piano or violin and played for hours. Very much like meditation and prayer beads do. It gets the mind out of the way.

So affirmations direct awareness on what you want to create in the world, both internally and hopefully, externally. The mind however is the great saboteur and most people’s affirmations are so extremely complicated that the only solution is to work on even more affirmations to fix the earlier ones, thus the minds vice like grip won’t let you go, nor get anywhere.

The sequence is usually:

  1. Negative thoughts. You have to eliminate blocks to your affirmations, such as negativity and negative thoughts. This should keep you busy for about two hundred years. If you say “I release all negativity and negative thoughts” you put in place an internal tension worrying about trying not to be negative, being all love and light, and then when you do get angry, or negative, you feel that you have failed in some way or that you are not good enough. The trap here is that your mind keeps generating negative thoughts for you to release. An eternal mind trap.
  1. You must believe and have faith. Beliefs and faith are just a bunch of thoughts nothing more nothing less. I believe the world is flat! Does not make it so. I believe my work colleague is evil! Does not mean that it is real.  Beliefs can only be held in the realm of the mind. Nowhere else and as such, are mental constructs. Another eternal mind trap.
  1. You must write your affirmation many times or do a vision board. This will keep you busy. The mind thinks it can bend the universe to your will. Keep writing…… (as it cracks a mental whip).

Your mind will do anything to be king and to keep you tied up in complicated processes in the hope you do not see that what you are doing is futile. In fact the mind will create many steps, levels, processes, and conditions that are impossible to complete.

So what good are affirmations? Affirmations are very good at directing awareness, creating focus and inner change to what you want to achieve,  or to focus more clearly and precisely on where you want to be.  Building the internal map. The map is not the territory.

People; however have very poor focusing ability, poor maps and limited skills in relaxing the minds vice like grip.

My Hypnotherapy can help you process affirmations, develop better focus and take the next step to generating what you want. The next step does not require your mind. Your mind will think of reasons not to do this. It wants to be king. So take a chance. Contact me.

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Doorway to harnessing your dreams and the creative imagination.

Have you ever had the feeling that you could fly? Or that you were invincible? Or that you were chased by an assailant? Chances are your answer is yes! That’s because all this action takes place in the arena of your mind, an area of consciousness we call dreams.

We all dream. There are no exceptions. Some brain researchers investigating dream/sleep phenomena, have deliberately deprived themselves of sleep, entering a state they call “askew dreaming” (hallucination) to see what happens. They report they experience psychotic experiences, hear voices, wield objects and sense all their irrational fears and phobias as they arise.

The mind is fascinating because it is so multi-dimensional and multi-directional. Our creative/visual/spatial perception (the imagination) transcends time and space and is an important tool in creating our reality. Many people do not know how to harness the power of dreams, nor the imagination in designing their reality in the real world. Dreams and your creative imagination open a doorway to personal power and creating your reality, and hypnosis is the key to that door.

Our imagination (day dreaming) and sleep-dreaming, and personal power are linked in a number of ways.

“Creative visualization and dreams” occur at the Alpha brain wave level, that is at 7 – 14 brain cycles per second. When we day dream we allow our most creative resources to flow; we have a conscious perception and control over our imagery (more right brain function).

Children up to puberty are predominantly in an alpha brain wave state most of the time (an eternal “now” time frame), which is why they instantly forget what you tell them. It also explains why when you try to reason (left brain) with a child, it usually goes in one ear and out the other.

Part of Shamanistic training is with the Alpha dream state in order to open the doors to inner dimensions. The Australian Aborigine triggers his dream state while listening to cicadas and/or crickets because the noise these tiny insects make oscillates between Theta and Alpha cycles (hence the “Dream Time”). More research into this area of brain/Alpha/dream creative states, needs to be explored to fully understand the creative powers we all have access to.

Dreaming occurs at all levels of brain activity. When we sleep our body rests and we dream. In Theta dream states the Brain oscillates at 4-7 cycles and we have a sense of merging with our deeper mind. This can be accessed and observed when a person is put into deep hypnotic trance. That is the state at which we can observe a loss of all logic and time orientation; when somnambulism and all suggestions and visualizations, no matter how bizarre, are accepted as real. It is in this state that psychic phenomena can take place. Future research may show this to be the brain level of precognition – dreaming of future events.

The brain level of Delta has a brain oscillation of 1 – 4 cycles. We know little about it except that Delta is a mysterious place equated with Zen states of meditation. Staying conscious at this level takes years of practice to achieve and is nearly impossible to research. Some mystics have claimed that in this state they have experienced a connection with what Jung called the collective unconscious, some even eluding to that state of all knowing.

To date we know for sure that during sleep and during dreams, we go through all of the brain wave levels and that our dreams, are at a deeply unconscious level. Some mystics have suggested that awake consciousness (the normal awakened state) is after all only a different level of dreaming. During meditation it is possible to choose the dream state we wish to experience by imagining an ideal setting and then drifting off to sleep with that in mind. Or, when we have nightmares and we wake up in a cold sweat, it is possible to imagine a happy outcome where we win, not lose, thus diffusing the power of the nightmare and giving our subconscious minds a positive message, rather than a negative one.

Getting into the flow, creating change, bending reality where everything turns around and works for you is only a hypnotic session away.  My hypnotherapy process starts your journey towards all this. Personal power, being in the flow and so much more! …. Peace.

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Fire-walking conquering the shadow self

Let me share with you my first fire waIking experience. That I did in 1987 I hope It encourages you to push your boundaries to new limits.

As I sat in the seminar room looking out into the night, my mind a blur, my eyes focused on the ten metre wall of heat and flames which roared from the fire pit, I wonder how I will face that deep primal fear of burning which all living creatures share.

Like the Tao, There I was looking into life’s mirror, face to face with the self of myself, and like the phoenix ready to dive deep into the ashes of fate only to rise again in a purified and transformed state of being. The fire, a glowing pile of embers and crackling wood is raked into a bed about 5 meters in length. I also note that the fire-bed is around half a meter deep, the walls on either side have been purposely raked higher to contain the heat. (One of the secrets of fire walking is that the fire bed, that part you walk on, is kept at around 1600 to 1800 degrees in heat.)

I soon learn that there are no special creams to protect my feet, no secret ways to scamper across the burning coals and not burn. The fire Master says: “Fire is an energy, and fire walking is REAL. You do it, or you don’t, there is no changing your mind half way across.”

The walk is, of course, optional. The knowledge contained in the five hour seminar which precedes the fire walk, we are told can be applied in daily life, the proof that this knowledge works is tested on the burning coals.

The seminar over, the time has come, and “trial by fire” enters my mind as I look into the flickering red and white hot coals. I feel mortal, sober and vulnerable. The other participants, teenagers and adults of both sexes, including two very courageous 7 and 12 year olds, support each walker as he/she confronts the fire pit by chanting.

The fire master of course goes first to cheers claps ans awe from us all. He makes it seem so easy. I approach the fire. I feel a lump of lead in my stomach and fear courses through my body. We are told that we can walk when we are ready. I feel ready. But as I stand there, the heat is too intense, so I back away, shaken.

Then I approach again and my father’s words from childhood echo in my mind: “if your friends jumped into a fire, would you?” And a wrestling match begins with my inner self and my sense of survival, with my fear of pain and my dark side.This confrontation with my shadow self is terrible. My feet feel like lead and my body like jelly. I know I have to ground myself fast, so I jump up and down placing each foot firmly on the ground like a Sumo wrestler.

Resolved, committed, with purpose and a strong sense of self, I focus beyond the fire pit and finally… walk.

It is hard to explain what happens in those minutes on the coals. The weight of my body crunches into them. The feeling of tons of past guilt and fear lifts from me, and a feeling of intoxicating excitement and happiness floods through me as I make it to the other side. I don’t burn nor blister and deep inside me I sense I have won that inner battle, conquered my shadow self and I feel renewed. The phoenix has risen.

This euphoria stays with me for months and slowly changed into an inner knowing. My work triples, life takes on more worth, my relationships improve, I expand my boundaries, which opens up new doorways I never knew existed.

Since that first fire walk, I have walked on fire many times and each one empowers me more. It’s an exercise in trust and memory now, because it reminds me that I am truly limitless. I have passed my rite of passage.

Many cultures have a rite of passage a shamanistic way of integration into maturity. Sadly we have none, Did the ancients know something that we have long forgotten? I think so, and thanks to practices such as fire walking we can tap that deep inner need in our psyche that urge to achieve, integrate and belong.

There are many ways to conquer your shadow self. Fire walking, meditation, hypnotherapy just to name a few. May you find what is right for you on your path….. Peace.

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